Supporting Parents With Kids Age 5-10

Alright, what is the deal with parents who's kids are between the age of 5-10 being pretty much ignored by moms groups, parenting groups, congregations, and whatever else. There is so much out there for parents of babies, toddlers, and even parents with teens. But parental support for these years, not as much.  Yeah, we might be getting a little more sleep, but we still need support and care.  Seriously! What gives?  I've noticed that parents of this age group tend to be cast into the shadows of churches and congregations, in terms of parental support. We have words of comfort for the momma who's toddler is rolling Cheerios's under the pew during worship, but we ignore (roll our eyes at) the father trying to get his 8-year-old to stand up during the Gospel reading and listen.  No, a "less boring" style change in the worship service or offering children's church is not support.  It's not that we don't love these parents and their kiddo's, but, it seems like many of the issues families deal with during these years can tend to be overlooked.  Is there some kind of societal assumption that parenting gets tremendously easier as soon as they walk into kindergarten?  Did I miss the memo?  Do things change as kids get older?  Yeah.  Does it get easier to be a parent? Ummm... Sorry to say, not so much.

I love each stage of childhood.  I loved parenting an infant, running after a toddler, and playing with a preschooler.  I wholeheartedly like having big kids.  This stage is great and full of joy in many ways.  But families with kids aged 5-10 still have a cross to bear, we are still sinners, we still struggle, we still need support.   Parents and kids have a lot on their plate during these years.  There are many decisions to make.  Should a mom stay at home or work, what's best for the family?  Homeschool, private school, public?  What activities are the kids going to participate in?   All of these decisions are difficult, we may have to make them more than once during these years and the years to come.  We need support and encouragement. It's alarming that most of the time parents find themselves having to defend their reasoning.  Or they find that parenting kids of this age group is highly competitive!  Parents so easily can get slammed for being a bad parent, over the tiniest things.

So what can we do to support them?

1. Understand the difficulties kids of this age face

Issues with school tend to be some of the most difficult challenges.  Many kids struggle with something, math, reading, study skills, making friends, following the rules, nervousness, and on and on the list can go.  Parents go to great pains to help their kids, but these issues can cause so much heartache.  It might just be the homework routine has run the family ragged. Seriously, the homework hour can be messy ugly scene every night.

Parents of this age group also have to help their kids understand the world around them.  Kids become aware of news stories, and when bad things happen.  Kids get curious about the birds and bees during these years.  Then there is the talks about substance abuse and drugs. Uncomfortable discussions become a habit.  These are important conversations, but that doesn't make the task easy.

Disciplining children of this age can be hard also, they still throw tantrums (and talk back)... and now they are bigger, you can't carry them out of a public place if you need to.  Parents struggle with embarrassing situations all the time.  Parents need friends of their own age during this age, it can be tempting to forego the discipline of the child in exchange for a "friendship". Parents also struggle at letting their kids become independent during these years, we want to keep them from hurt and harm, it can be hard to get out of the way sometimes.  Encourage us to keep up the good work, training up our child, encourage us to be the parent and to stay firm.

2.  Respect the busy schedule

Families can be far too busy during these years.  School, jobs, sports, music camps, and whatever else can be very enriching and fulfilling, yet the dark side of all of this is often times families quickly become overextended.  In part, this has to do with so many parents and kids trying to live up to ideal standards. Let's give each other a break here and stop competing. Instead of judging our family schedule help us set faithful priorities.

3. Support And Forster Family Devotion Time

There is so much a congregation can do to equip parents and kids for a family devotion time.  Supply the right resources, and be a community that prioritizes the habit.  A lot of times certain congregational activities (ahem... meetings) can detract from families having the time they need to gather around God's Word throughout the week.  It's time to stop calling things like basketball or movie night a "ministry". Rather, help families see what family devotions looks like by using the prayer services in the hymnal, during the week. Support and promote home catechesis. Encourage fathers to take up the task of teaching their children the faith.  Don't clobber men for not being manly enough, instead show them how to lead their families by rightly preaching the law and Gospel on Sunday mornings. Mom's need good preaching too!  Families don't  need a checklist feel good self-help sermon... we need Christ crucified for us.   This is a most excellent thing for families and believers from cradle to grave.

So please don't forget about us parents who may seem to have hit a mountain top in the world of child rearing.  It's great to have elementary aged kids.  But it is not all milk and cookies.  We need the support of other families, friends, teachers, pastors, and those of you who have walked the path of parenthood before us.