When Life Gives You "Meh"

With the hustle and bustle of the holidays coming on full swing, the kids schedules getting busier, my husband's concert season lurking (bleh, bleh, bleh) and the budget getting tighter with each trip to the grocery store, life is feeling a little bit "meh".  It seems like I just don't have the finesse to make life as stupendous and as fantastic as I imagine it ought to be. I mourn my vocation, feeling board one moment then overwhelmed the next.  It's easy to get caught up in thinking my skills and talents just don't measure up.  It's easy to let the ego take over allowing myself to think I'm simply unappreciated.    There's always more to want. "Come and get all the new stuff" is the chant of the season.  The glistening yellow and blue of IKEA captivates my dreams of how I could redesign my environment and things might be blissfully better.  Or perhaps "will power" is the key to happiness?  If you believe it you can do it, right?  The trap of taking life for granted had been set and immediately I fall captive.  And the season of "meh" sets in.

What is "Meh"?

"Meh" is the feeling of  being fine but yet really wanting something more.  It's an indifference towards ones surrounding or situation.  It's when the everyday simple blessings are taken for granted.  It's perceiving life as bland.
The "meh" feeling is not necessarily sadness or the blues though it certainly may trick people into sadness unnecessarily.  "Meh" can really mess with a person's priorities.  It can cause a lot of distraction, grief, and burden, regardless of social status or notoriety.  "Meh" is nothing more then temptation of mammon taking its toll.  "Meh" is the yoke of the law. "Meh" would like me think that what I have in being a wife and mother, and the other areas in my vocation are not good enough.  Most especially "meh" seeks to make me believe that my identity as a child of God in baptism is trite and shallow.  "Meh" wants to steal away the depth and richness of life I already have.  "Meh" wants me to feel frustrated.  "Meh" wants me to fix myself and depend on myself because it refuses to be content with what God has given.

Carpe Diem is a hoax!

I remember when I used to hold this ideal to such a high standard.  The ideology seemed to offer freedom.   Yet, when I can't manage to seize the day beyond mediocrity, the first thing I do is lower the standard.    We live in a culture that idolizes will power.  The assumptions are that with enough elbow grease and will power life can be pretty much awesome.  But how many times has this led to disappointment?  The grass is not always greener on the other side of ideology.
Now I am not saying hard work and effort is bad.  It's not that we should not work hard at the things that we set out to do.  We should.  I should be motivated and dedicated.   Hard work is good.  But what is my motivation?  
I should strive to serve my neighbor and to be a good steward of my blessings.
However, somewhere along the line our culture has been captivated into a groove of seeking to make the "good life" here on earth more like "heaven on earth".  Life is not always peachy keen.  Suffering is very real.  We can't Capre Diem ourselves away from sickness and death.   My earthly desires can never be quenched through the toil of my hands, the "honey do list". The feeling of dissatisfaction, "meh", and the feelings of anxiety take over.   These feelings are used by my sinful nature, the world, and Satan to bind what Christ has set free.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,  even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.  In love, he predestined us  for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses,according to the riches of his grace,  which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. 
Eph. 1:3-10

All that God gives is sufficient.  Daily bread, house, home, family and friends, His creation. Through His works and kept promises God crushes my "meh"  He establishes order and vocation.  He gives me talents and duties.  At the foot of the cross, I am free to humbly serve, work and love because I am no longer bound.  God's ways, His laws are good for me. His Word is a light to my path.  The light of Christ shines in the darkness of my indifference, guilt, stress, and pain.  I am free to enjoy the blessings of life.  Free to have peace and joy, even in suffering, as Christ comes into every part of my life.  All that He establishes because of His grace and mercy crushes the dissatisfaction of "meh".   Through the church and her worship, God gives me what I need for this life. Simple gifts that are anything but "meh". My identity is not found in the mustering up a wonderful life; it's found in Christ through the waters of baptism.  It's lived in Christ who brings the kingdom of righteousness.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lisa Wagner