Bread, Butter, Love... Discontentedly Content

The beginning of the week was that time between paychecks when the pantry gets bare and the budget is beyond thin. Time to raid the change jar and search the couch cushions.  Time to hone in on the "Chopped" cooking skills. Theses times (even though it's the status quo) are never met without a cringe or two. This particular instance is a bit harder then most. Thank you Chris Columbus for your "holiday" making one check come later then expected. Also it's the slow season in the restaurant world.  My hubby was blessed with a whole weekend off (without request) as a result.  Also it seems that the expense list is longer lately. Appliances need repair or replacement.  Seriously my hubby patched the kitchen sink with duct tape on Monday. It is a miracle that the washer and dryer still actually are washing and drying our endless laundry pile.  And don't even get me started on the van... dumb money pit that drains the wallet just to get us to where we need to be.  Then there's the less necessary things. I roll my eyes at adjusting the "bunny ears" just to watch a little TV.  And the countless things the kids need money for or want, ballet class, school pictures, trips, and Lego's (what is there gold in the plastic??) 

Discontentment has been nagging at my heart a lot over the past few weeks.  If I'm truly honest the want for more has had it's way with me from the time I let out my first cries.  Let's face it our culture has conditioned us to want, want, want.  We want and want it now! We love the gratification of getting what we need, and more so what we want.  Obliviously a lot of what we want are the basic needs to survive.  Yet I think we do take for granted just how easy the things of basic survival come in our society.  Who still has to walk outside and down the road just for clean water in America?  Not many and certainly not whole towns of people. 

Still it can be so easy to feel so discontent.  The sermon I heard on Sunday was on being content.  I didn't even make it a few hours.  Funny how when visiting a congregation the sermon has this way of taking extra aim at you.  It was words I needed to hear!  I've  caught myself in this trap this week several times already.  Like when my husband says hey can you manage to hold off on heading to the grocery store, can you make dinner with whats in stock?  Yes, perhaps there should have been better planing. But ugh... such thoughts can make us feel so cranky. Especially when the kitchen is a bit bare. Use what I have?  Make dew?   I made the kids breakfast for dinner.  Why should I feel impoverished??  We were fortunate to have bacon.  Seriously bacon!!!

What is there to whine about?  The four eggs fed the younger three kiddos.  When the oldest came home from her volleyball game she enjoyed a cheesy baked potato topped with three delectable strips of the left over bacon.  They were happy! Hubby and I ate what he brought home from work that night.  Why did I have any right to feel stressed over this? Bleh...  I can be so silly.  Last night my husband and I enjoyed cooking together from just what was stashed in the pantry or hanging in the fridge.  It would probably be a good thing for us to enjoy meals of bean soup, grilled cheese and Jello more often.  

So why does discontentment whisper it's displeasure in my ear?  Certainly a bit of discontentment is not so bad, it keeps us motivated to work harder and do better with what we have. Yet even still the subtle feeling of not having enough will still be there.  It seems like the more we have the worse the discontentment.  Cause yeah we always want more.  And It's not just fiances that cause us to fret in discontentment, it can be fussy kids, a long to do list, physical health, a bad hair day, anything or anyone that we can label annoying, and so on. 
My problem then is ungratefulness. Lack of trust and doubt. 
Is God really providing? 
Does he care?  
I thought I was important!!

But when I stop and look though all the "rag tag" and taped together sinks, baskets of toys, piles of laundry and dirty dishes I see that we are abundantly blessed and I'm just ridiculous. Maybe I need to step on a few more Lego's and I'd be more humble...nope no thank you. 

Our earthly needs are taken care of.  We don't starve.  Our loving Father gives us our daily bread. The kids are happy and healthy.  We have a home, clean water, clothing, shoes, paper towels, toothpaste, and even a smartphone.  We've been blessed with skills to provide and care for our family with yet still enough to share with others.  My husband is handy and willing to fix and chip away at all the house projects.  As the Madeline books say "We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other."   We really are blessed in this life.  There really should be no room for my ungrateful heart that takes so much for granted.

More than earthly blessings Our Father provides for us even more richly with the gift of His Son.  He forgives our ingratitude, our selfish discontentment.  He calls our eyes up out of our bellies and reveals His graciousness to us though His infallible Word.  We are fed with Christ's Body and Blood.  The Holy Spirit enlightens, sustains, and preserves our faith over and over and over again.  Our prayers are heard our needs are known.  His will is done.  Our God makes good on His promises.  He lifts our eyes to His Son, who upon His return will restore the ungrateful dust of our flesh to perfect righteousness.  For all this we give thanks. We strive to do better with the blessings he as abundantly given so that others will see, hear, and know, so they may call upon His Name.  Our dear Father gives us rest for our soul, peace, love, hope, and contentment in spite of our stubbornness.